30 juni 2006 in Geen categorie
Download koffiemet…melk.wmv
30 juni 2006 in Communicatie
“50 you say?”
- “Yes something like that. Can they be delivered today?”
“Today?”
17 she is, tops, and the look she gives me tells me that the world is about to blow up or so. I must have said something really nasty, while ordering 50 cakes. She rushes off, to check ‘things’ in the back.
It takes her 2 minutes to verify that it indeed can be delivered today, with that ‘gesture’ comes a message:
“If this happens again, would you please be so kind to order quantities like this up front?”
- “If what happens?”
“Well, this cake thing.”
Time for me to be puzzled. So I ask her if there is some kind of problem.
“No problem at all. The quantity might be a problem. Not today, but maybe in the future. So please order in.”
- “I’m more the spontaneous person, so I can pretty much guarantee you that I won’t be ordering up front. If these quantities pose a problem to you, please tell me. Then next time I will wait for my regular bakery to open up.”
Another strange look. Off she is to the back again. Returning with yet another message:
“No it’s no problem. Delighted to be of service.”
WTF? This must come from the from bestselling “the-American-Society-in-50-fony-quotes”. Or maybe it comes from the Dutch political hit on how to deal with differences of opinion: the little party that could.
Time to spice things up a bit in this bakery, so I ask the girl if I can write a little card for this delivery. And yes, she is off to the back again. Must be an intern or something. It takes a few minutes for her to return with some piece of “carton” that “can be fixed to the box with cakes”. I surpress the urge to explain to her that duct tape is the ideal stuff to basically fix “anything” to this box of cakes.
After she has dealt with the cake, it’s time to move on.
“Do you need anything else?”
The way she looks at me tells me she hopes for a ‘no’. But I have bad news for her.
- “Yes I would like to have some 10 saucage rolls.”
Panic … meaning she rushes off to the back.
It takes a while, but then she returns.
“10 rolls. Big or small?”
- “Big ones I guess.”
“We don’t have big ones at this moment.”
She sounds relieved bringing this messages and turns sad when I order small ones instead. Off she goes again … returning 2 minutes later with a box with fresh saucage rolls which she presents like it is a bloody miracle. “No nothing else, that’s it.”
She struggles through the cash register, before telling me to “Have a nice day”. She looks very tired and it’s just 8Am … oh, this will be one long day for her.
26 juni 2006 in Geen categorie
Last week, for three or four days in a row I had a terrible dream about me being in some kind of violent car crash. Situated at night, in vaguely familiar environment, my car gets torpedoed from the left. It’s a T-crossing where I have to turn left, but sight is obscured by some illegally parked van or small truck and when I slowly pull up see if the road is clear, a dark car hits me with great speed. Very strange, very violent.
I spent quite some daytime trying to match the location, but couldn’t find it. Definately a place I kind of have seen before, but not for a while. I also have the feeling that I’m not eyeing the place from the right angle. Like I’m too low or something or that it’s mirrored.
—
It’s Saturday evening and I just spent a couple of hours having dinner with old friends that I really haven’t seen for a long, long time…. say 6 years, or something. I have never been to their new house, which is situated in a small town I used to live in. They are actually living next to the tennisclub I was a member of and that I visited two or three times a week. I was young back then, so I always used a bike to get there.
Later than expected I leave the house to visit another friend of mine in the same village. He is throwing a birthday party for what I thought to be his 31st birthday, but appeared to be his 36th. Gosh Tom, didn’t know you were older than I’m :)
Since I’m a little bit late, I kind of try to rush from place A to B, but that really doesn’t work since the village has completely been altered and it’s dark already. Streets are not where I thought them to be and the fact that I normally used a bike to get there doesn’t help either. Some streets are simply not passable (anymore?) by car.
When I cross a bridge, I get a hunch that I need to turn left to make it to the mainroad that can take me to the other side of town. Turning brings me into a small street I used to take with my bike up to the tennisclub. When I approach the crossing, I slow down to check if everything is safe. I can’t get a good view of the situation to the left because of a trailer that is blocking my sight.
I slowly start pulling up my car, when I suddenly realise the situation I’m in: trailer blocking my sight, familiar street, wrong angle, T-crossing, left turn. I instantly hit the breaks, still being behind the trailer, and wonder about the situation I’m in and my behavior. It’s so not me to do something because of a dream. Come on, the only thing I normally believe in and trust is me, myself and I and my own observation.
I put my hand down on the gearbox to shift ‘m back to D and continue the drive, when a black Peugeot 306 crosses my T. The car is doing at least 80 km/h in the village … and he misses me.
Amazing. I hit the breaks again, put my head on the steering wheel and spend quite some time thinking about the whole experience. I have goose bumps all over me and it’s freezing cold in the car, although my onboard computer tells me it’s 19 degrees C. Am I going insane or what?
Of course I do continue (after ten minutes or so?) to the birthdayparty and try to act there as regular as possible … or at least within the bounderies of my personality. Probably not a good attempt, since the audience (good friends) know me very well and can tell something is wrong, like part of my brain is working on something else.
Strange experience, really strange.
24 juni 2006 in Communicatie
Not to long ago I purchased something I actually find an overexpensive luxory, because cars for me are something to move from A to B. Nonetheless I had the feeling that I needed something really secure and safe (I drive a lot, especially at night), so I got me a Volvo S60 D5, all-bells-and-whistles-including-iPod-connector-and-lots-of-hps edition with a few non-factory tailored extras including special airbags between front and rearseats, special curtains protecting front seats against stuff being launched from the rear seats (like computerbags), extra rear airbags again to prevent stuff flying through the car, reinforced side impact system and a navigation kit that’s integrated with the gearbox (bad weather means the car automatically slows down, when put in dummy mode). Really cool and safe car, designed to withstand everything, propably except for a direct attack by the IDF. I bought it private and paid cash (no lease, no loan).
Cars like that have more electronics than a prostitute has underwear. And electronics mean one thing: eventually they break down. We all know it, a Volvo dealer knows it … and the big question of course is how to handle a situation in such a way that the customer remains a happy one (not just the expensive customer!), and the dealership gets the credits for being a good ‘partner’. An example of how NOT to do it.
I’m on my way to a trade show where I’m supposed to do a lecture when my navigation kit stops operating for the second time in four days. The first time Volvo solved the problem by cleaning the DVD player. So this time when I call in, I ask for a cleaning set so I can do it myself. I mean: it’s no fun when you drive to an unknown location and you can’t rely on your expensive-follow-spoken-directions-with-soft-Belgian-accent-kit. The cleaning gears appears not available for customers, so I have to make a new stop at a Volvo shop again.
“It’s broken sir and we have to replace the DVD player.”
- “That’s no problem. Order a new one then.”
“That will cost you Euro 568,04 and taxes, because it’s out of warranty.”
- “Out of warranty? That’s a good one. How long am I driving this thing? 14 months?”
“Yes, almost 15. But standard warranty is 12 months.”
- “You are kidding me right? 12 months on such an expensive navigation set (List price: Euro 3.500,-)? I get 24 on a vacuum cleaner of Euro 300,-.”
The guy just gives me a funny look: “That’s the rules sir. Do you want me to order it?”
Too bad that in these situations you always have to make a matter of principle out of it. So I explain the guy that:
- I bought a nice and expensive toy that used to work for 100%.
- It stopped working when I bought a new DVD kit for Europe and had Volvo mechanics replace the DVD’s during regular maintance. Meaning: I never touched the thing.
- I don’t believe in standard warranty for things like this, especially not when they are expensive and have been paid for in cash.
- We have Dutch law that says that electronic stuff has to operate at least for a certain amount of time and that warranty only has to do with abuse.
He understood my case, but insisted I had to pay Euro 568,04 and taxes. I of course disagreed completely so I told him to get me the salesman who sold me the car. He appeared to be on holiday. That’s a pity, because I love a good public argument with a salesman. So the guy asks me what to do and I give him two options:
- You order it, install it, charge me nothing and send me on my way.
- You order it, install it, charge me something or the whole thing, I will pay without complaint and will program the navigation kit to the nearest Mercedes dealer to exchange the car right away. Meaning: you will never see me again.
He again gives me a funny look: “Do you want me to order it?”
Well, I thought I had been very clear on that one: “Yes.”
He hands me over the order form, I sign it and he responds with: “I’ll call you in one or two days to have it installed.”
—
It’s three days later when I get a call from Volvo: “The DVD unit has arrived, so we can replace it. Can you bring the car in right away, or this afternoon?” He also adds that they will replace the unit for free, because of the situation. Before I can ask about “What situation” he hangs up. I mean, I’m pretty curious if they do it because of the warranty/money balance, or because of the Mercedes-threat.
At the Volvo shop it gets even more interesting. Not one word at all on the whole matter. They take my keys, replace the unit for free and send me on my way. The salesguy even escapes the moment he sees me entering. Really strange, since 14 months before he was more than willing to kiss the floor I was walking on.
So I drive off with a new FREE DVD kit. If they had handled their communications like they should have, I would have felt king of the world, but now I leave with a very bad feeling on this dealership. You know, this even might be last Volvo I have bought while living in this town.
Love the car though … so maybe I should move, before switching brands :)
20 juni 2006 in Geen categorie
Having your period? Use an iPad!
19 juni 2006 in Geen categorie
19 juni 2006 in Technologie
Basically it’s not really news, since Redmond software has more holes then yellow cheese. Nonetheless, here it is: Microsoft’s French website was defaced by a Turkish hacker.
And no, there are no excuses, since the site was running Microsoft’s latest and greatest kit. Or as Microsoft say it themselves: the most secure environment ever come out of the evil empire. Ouch.
More (including screenshots) here.
18 juni 2006 in Geen categorie
Now online @ Google, as a showcase for Google Books, the much debated service of presenting books online. Really impressive.
18 juni 2006 in Geen categorie
Oi, oi, oi.
18 juni 2006 in Geen categorie
She can’t be much older than 16, but she is defending the 5 cash registers on the first floor of the
local V&D all by herself. She is clearly new at her job and not doing it very good, since the line is already 7 people long. As I have to make this specific purchase today, I have no other option than getting in line.
Two more people join, while she finishes dealing with the first customer. 2 hairclips at a discount, a whopping Euro 3,99 and gift wrapped of course. She is doing a terrible job and her stressed behavior tells me that she knows it. The line behind me gets longer.
Reinforcements arrive as a 16 year old clone of our PM Jan Peter Balkenende opens up register #2. A melee is the result as half the line scrambles to be first. I notice three people in front of me leaving my line to find their luck at register #2. I can understand them, since it really can’t get much worse than #1. But since it’s still early (9-something), I’m only half awake and do have all the patience in the world. I decide to wait it out.
Moving to line #2 appears to be a bad choice, since Jan Peter junior’s first customer shows up with a pair of sunglasses from which he has to remove a certain security sensor. Since he can’t find the special tool to do it, he decides to try a pair of scissors on it. That really is not very smart since those sensors have been constructed to prevent theft using ‘regular’ tools like that. After trying in vain for a few minutes he decides to pick up the phone, says something in it, puts it down, puts the pair of scissors away and smiles at the customer, while suspending all further action. He is clearly going to wait for the airmobile security taskforce to help him out.
A 17,99 transaction makes me second in line. A middle aged woman has two small things, totaling Euro 2,24. And yes, she does collect airmiles. But she can’t find her card, so we wait another 2 minutes for her to go through her bag. When she finally finds it, she pops it on the counter and asks something about the new V&D customer card. “Does it have credit on it? Does it automatically collects my airmiles? Can I transfer my regular loyalty points?”
The girl’s eyes go wide and her mouth drops open, then she flips out muffling something completely not understandable. The woman in front of register #1 appears not to understand situation and points at the huge advertisements on the wall behind the girl, while repeating her questions: “Does the card have credit on it or is it a debet card?”
The girl turns around to read the signs on the wall: “V&D customer card, ask your cashier.” Slowly she turns back at the customer. A red head and wattery eyes tell me that the girl is on the brink of completely losing it. She nervously picks her cute uniform, while her mind tries to dig up some information for this customer.
Since my patience is about to run out, 9-something AM or not, I decide to help the girl out: “You must have a standard brochure for this?” At first my interference adds more stress to the situation until she detects the one vital clue: Brochure. “YES, we have a brochure of this!!!” Relieved she runs off, returning with a couple of leaflets and brochures. She hands it to the lady, which is not completely satisfied: “Can’t you give me the answers instead of making me read all of this?”
In itself a pretty logical remark, but also a sign that the lady clearly isn’t paying attention to what’s going on here. The girl goes blank and immediately looks at me for help. I point the lady to the customer support on the second floor and hear the girl making a mental note of it: “Customer Support …”
My turn then. I have pretty simple and straight forward stuff. No discounts, no airmiles, no wrapping: Euro 32,70. I’m off within one minute, but I do get a decent “thank you for your support” including a very cute smile. It shows that the girl really has something that makes her suitable for retail. She only needs a Mrs. Slocombe to train her.
While I walk off, I eye the situation at register #2. The airmobile security specialist still hasn’t arrived, so Jan Peter Junior is waiting at his register giving the customer in front of him a faint smile while firmly holding on to the white sunglasses …
17 juni 2006 in Financieel
Some call him Sir Williams Gates III, some call him the man that changed the world and some say that Bill Gates is single handedly responsible for the current pricelevel of those wonderful things we call computers. And when referring to that pricelevel, they mean: ultra low … like Euro 500,- for a computer you can hook to your television, does some multimedia and that has a graphical user interface.
Rrrrrrrrright, like my Atari ST and Comodore Amiga couldn’t do that in 1985, 1988 respectively. Those machines in their days where stable multimedia machines, were the PC still isn’t it today. Gates might have brought the PC down to the Euro 500,- level, but it took him 25 years, some really nasty business practises and the product still lacks security and stability.
Come on now!
14 juni 2006 in Geen categorie
Being chief spokeszora of the Dutch Business ISP Zoranet, I was invited to Nifad 2006 to present our point of view on working anywhere, everywhere on any device (Dutch language link) …. or as we say it: From any client to any host on any connection (UMTS, GPRS, xDSL, Fiber, ISDN), in a private or virtual private network.
We call it: On the Move. Or in other words: combine UMTS (and Fast UMTS), GPRS and WiFi and use EAP Sim to identify the mobile user on WiFi. And force corporate rules on usage: internet (yes/no), blacklisting, whitelisting, yellowlisting, redlisting, pinklisting, whatever.
And one thing is sure: invite Zoranet and get free bears. No typo … BEARS. And they are everywhere :)
For those who missed it, tomorrow (June 14th, 10.10) we are at it again in Nieuwegein.
Otherwise, check me around 14.00 in Cuijk lecturing to a combination of
German and Dutch entrepreneurs and investors. Since my time is money, be
sure to bring some big ones :)
12 juni 2006 in Geen categorie
The pigeon I rescued yesterday from the canal in front of my house in Zwolle, decided to spend the night. I fed it water and bread and it slept in my grandfather’s birdhouse that is standing on my balcony. But today around 19.00, it finally decided to leave the balcony and move to his own home underneath the bridge in front of my house. The pictures.
Yesterday’s tanning session, in order to dry the feathers.
Today: ready for take off.
Thunderbirds are go!
The Eagle has landed.
12 juni 2006 in Technologie
Finally we have our Zoranet.com / .nl version 3.0 live.
11 juni 2006 in Geen categorie
Quaaaaaking of a couple of ducks alerted me to an overambitious pigeon which thought he could make a living as boat. Not a good idea.
The pigeon afloat (sorry for the finger in front of the tiny lens of my Treo).
The pigeon after being rescued
The pigeon getting a tan on my balcony and drying its feathers.
